My Childhood Report Card and How Little It Indicated
What does a report card really say about someone? What does your work review really indicate about how well you do your job? What do outside critiques really tell us about the quality of anyone or anything?
It’s a question I’ve been asking myself since childhood. I can’t help but want to put my hand on my hip and ask “Who are YOU to make judgments about me?!” It’s a good question, isn’t it? I mean, you don’t really know me, you aren’t inside my head or my heart — you can only stand outside, look around, make evaluations and then, through your own distorted lens, come up with a theory about who I am and what value I bring to the world table.
It goes back to elementary school for me. Those early years when teachers are shaping us, molding us into little knowledge-hungry creatures, to become good students and leaders. They give us tests and projects and playtime — all the while watching our every move to see which direction our intelligence and behavior leans. Is this a smart, well adjusted child? Or are they struggling in their studies and socialization? We love to categorize and lump. Good student, problem child. But rarely are any of us that black and white. Especially as children. There’s a whole lot of gray going on as we grow.
So here’s where it gets tricky for me. My teachers in 5th grade noted comments on my report card that weren’t…let’s say…so flattering. My conduct grade never reflected my subject grades — I was a very good student when it came to learning — but not, according to my teachers, the best kid when it came to “conducting” myself. Frankly, I don’t see it — nor do I have video to review for true documentation. I’ve got heresay — check marks and short notes — that indicate I wasn’t behaving as well as I should, or as they expected. Well, news flash, I’ve yet to meet a kid that didn’t have a little crazy in them once in a while. Kids aren’t meant to behave 24/7, that’s what adulthood is for. Get your fun time in now kids, because adulthood requires a whole bunch of corralling your true thoughts and feelings under the heading of societal norms. There’s no room for throwing yourself on the floor in Walmart having a tantrum because you didn’t get your raise — if you do, the lack of more money in your paycheck will be the least of your problems as they cart you off to the local loony bin.
So here it is, one report card:
According to all my checkmarks, I:
Don’t respect authority (at times, talks back)
Don’t show self control (quite talkative….that shows lack of self-control??)
Don’t cooperate with teachers and classmates
Don’t accept criticism in good spirit (umm, no, I’m a kid, what do you want from me)
Purposely disturbs others (from what, a nap?)
Don’t make good use of time (just sometimes….so SOMETIMES I do!)
C for the grade in conduct. C was satisfactory. With all those comments I should’ve gotten a D or an E (no F’s on this here grading scale). Maybe they should’ve just strapped me to the monkey bars and let me swing and screech my way through recess — I was obviously a feral child.
Today, I give myself an A for not hunting down my former teachers and throwing rocks at them.
See? My conduct isn’t so bad.
*Follow me at www.buddhabalboa.com. No report cards, I promise.
